


One stupid decision later...

by IntheShadows59



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Funny, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 02:29:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14740335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntheShadows59/pseuds/IntheShadows59
Summary: The Seed brothers stumble upon a drunken Deputy.





	One stupid decision later...

Joseph sighed and rubbed at his eyes from under his glasses as John continued to poke the bear. The aforementioned bear being their eldest brother. Ridiculous question after ridiculous question, insult after insult and Joseph could see that Jacob was grinding his teeth and trying his absolute best to not snap and kick their younger sibling out of the truck. Looking out the window, Joseph watched the incoming sunset, the trees that passed by and the wheat fields that covered the land of Holland Valley. It wasn’t far to the ranch and the Preacher could only pray that Jacob could keep his cool for another 5 minutes.  
  
The brakes suddenly slammed on. John yelped out a curse as the truck stopped immediately. Joseph turned to his older brother, a question of ‘why?’ about to fall from his lips when he saw what was on the road a meter away from the bumper of the vehicle.  
  
There was a body. Not a dead one, if the arms and legs elevated and kicking in the air where anything to go by. A head emerged from behind one of the upper limbs, messy, tangled locks blowing in the gentle breeze. It was a woman. Joseph squinted. There was something familiar about this woman. Maybe it was a resident of Fall’s End, either drunk or out of their mind on bliss.  
  
John stuck his head through the gap between the front seats, a grin creeping onto his face. “Well, I’ll be…” Jacob turned to face his youngest brother, brows furrowed.  
  
“What? You know her?”  
  
John scoffed and undid his seatbelt. “Of course I know her. You do, too. So do you, Joseph.”  
  
Silence filled the truck as John opened the door and strutted, yes, STRUTTED, towards the woman who was now starfished on the dirt road. Jacob was first to catch on. “Oh hell yes…” The eldest brother left the truck before Joseph could reprimand him for his cursing.  
  
By the time Joseph had taken off the seatbelt and closed the door, John and Jacob were already leaning over the woman. As he got closer, her head turned to face him. Joseph’s breath caught in his throat. Oh no.  
  
“HEYYYYYYYY!” It was the Deputy. The Junior Deputy. The same Junior Deputy that had taken outposts from them, killed dozens of his followers, burned monuments to the ground and all but destroyed the statue built in his name. That same Junior Deputy now lay on the ground, head lolling from side to side with a massive smile that could only belong to a person that was heavily under the influence of alcohol. Joseph grimaced. She looked an absolute state with hair a wild mess, make-up smudged and was that a ripped crop top with extremely short shorts? Yes. Yes, it was.  
  
John whipped round to face him, a maniac grin plastered on his face. “She’s completely plastered. Oh ho ho this couldn’t get any better…”  
  
Jacob was smiling. The Jacob Seed. Smiling. “Didn’t even need to send out hunters to bring her to us this time. She did it all by her damn self. We could -”  
  
The eldest Seed never got to finish his thought as tiny arms reached up around his neck and with remarkable strength, the Deputy pulled him down for a hug. John burst out laughing, doubling over and clutching his stomach. Joseph chuckled.  
  
“Let go, kid. Or I swear I’ll rip your damn throat out.” After hearing the redhead’s threat, the Junior Deputy only tightened their hold. Jacob lost his footing and all but fell on top of him.  
  
John had pulled out his phone and began filming declaring that this was the perfect blackmail material. “We could broadcast this all over the fucking County! Can you imagine the looks on the Resistance’s faces when they see that their beloved hero is fraternizing with the enemy!”  
  
Jacob began snarling his protest. “No, no, no! This is not 'fraternizing’! John, you better knock that shit off right now or I swear - Joseph, get her the hell off of me!”  
  
Joseph sent a disapproving stare towards the younger sibling. John caught his look and his smile dampened a fraction as he obliged his brother’s wish and put the phone away. The Preacher then moved forward to help his elder brother.  
  
The Deputy was giggling like a madwoman as Joseph placed his hands on her arms and gently began to tug. “It’s time to let go now, Child.” But the buzzed officer of the law just laughed some more and tightened their hold if Jacob’s grunt was anything to go by. Joseph remained calm, unlike his older sibling who was beginning to flail.  
  
John was quick to come over and kneel down beside her head, giving the Deputy a playful smack on the cheek. “C'mon now, my dear. You’ll end up killing my grump of a brother with kindness if you don’t let go.”  
  
At this, the Deputy’s smile crumbled into one of despair, tears springing to her eyes. Her lip wobbled and her arms sprung back to her sides, freeing Jacob from her hold. The redhead was quick to back off, drilling holes into the woman’s face with his glare.  
  
John and Joseph watched in horror as the Deputy let out a large sob. John stood up and marched back to the truck stating that he was no good with this kind of thing. Jacob followed, muttering under his breath and rubbing his strained neck as he did so. That left Joseph with a dilemma.  
  
As much as he knew that he should take her with them and use this situation to their advantage it just didn’t…feel right to do so. Joseph wanted the Deputy to follow him. To follow Eden’s Gate. To be his family. But with her this drunk there’s no way she would be able to give her commitment or consent to join the Project. Joseph wanted her to join of her own accord, to seek him out herself, desperate to be at his family’s side. Dragging her back to John’s ranch in this state would not fulfil that dream. Joseph sighed.  
  
****************************************  
  
After carrying the wailing woman back to the truck, Joseph commanded Jacob to drive them to the outskirts of the Rye airstrip. While Fall’s End was too much of a risk to go anywhere near, Joseph knew that the Ryes were a different story. He also knew, from John’s never-ending rants about the Junior Deputy that she was incredibly close with Nick and Kim. The expecting couple’s home was somewhere that she’d be safe.  
  
When they reached the airfield, Joseph turned to find the Deputy asleep in the backseat, her arms now locked around John who was smiling smugly. Jacob got out of the truck and helped the younger brother to squeeze out of her grip and pick her up. Joseph watched as she awoke, her eyes widening comically as she grew aware of her situation. Ah, so the alcohol had worn off a little it seemed.  
  
“WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!” She threw her arms up and began kicking wildly in John’s direction, one of her flailing hands reaching for the door handle behind her. Jacob cursed and threw himself into the front seat, starting up the car as the front door of the Rye residence slammed open, with an enraged pregnant woman shuffled out with a shotgun.  
  
With one final push, the Deputy was able to open truck door and Joseph watched as she fell backwards onto the gravel. But this was not before her foot made contact with John’s nose, a sickening crack filling the air as Jacob pushed down the pedal, as Kim Rye waddled ever closed, shotgun firing off towards them. Joseph watched in the rearview mirror as the two figures grew smaller and smaller and John’s nose got bloodier and bloodier.  
  
“THE NEXT TIME I GET MY HANDS ON HER, I’LL CUT HER IN HALF! SHE BROKE MY FUCKING NOSE! I CAN’T BE SEEN LIKE THIS!” Jacob snorted at the youngest siblings shouts of rage and continued the drive back to the Ranch. By now the sun had gone down, the moon’s light now shining the way. Joseph wondered if this was a missed opportunity if he had made the right choice in leaving the Deputy behind and not bringing her back to their home. No, he’d made the right choice. This was in God’s plan. The Holy Father above had planned the path ahead and everything happened for a reason. Joseph believed the Lord had caused this event to knock his brother’s down a peg or two. Just a little reminder to them both that the Deputy was not a foe to be messed with. Her kicks were disastrous and her hugs even more deadly it would seem.  
  
****************************************  
John releases the video the next day in retaliation for the broken nose leaving the Deputy to explain to everyone that “NO THAT’S NOT ME IN THAT VIDEO ISTG I’D RATHER KISS A COWS ASS THAN HUG JACOB SEED”  
  
Jacob also has to deal with a lot of shit cause while this might be humiliating for the Deputy, it’s also a fucking embarrassment for him. John better watch his ass.


End file.
